Hope and then

Thanks to wave mom -- I have been thinking about waking up this blog, and her recent comment is the extra little push I need. A combination of things had me pulling inward and this has been a useful period of introspection and internal shifting toward what I hope is a more balanced view of myself and the world.

In other words I've been damn depressed but I think there is some positive function to this depression. A psychologist I've been seeing said that I'm clinically depressed and have been for a long time. I'm not sure what's a long time (I don't know when I haven't been depressed), but yeah, it's been a long time, though the quality of depression changes over time. Lately it's been a very thick, tiring kind of sadness and feeling stuck. I think that rather than resisting it, I've realized that if I honour that place I can glean important insight from it. So I'm sitting with it. Indeed, changes come.

Heh, anyway, I think I have some writing in here somewhere. Keep an eye out (but don't let it dry out har har)