feeling too much

I've thought a lot about how much I feel. It's a lot. It's overwhelming.
While I think I lack communication skills to demonstrate empathy in a typical way, I think it's partly because I get so overwhelmed by feeling what's happening in a room, with another person, even an email interaction. I feel blocked, or choked up with words. I wish telepathy existed because maybe then people would *know* what I so desperately struggle to communicate.

My husband's father died this week. We flew down to visit him in his final days. It was very tough -- it'd be tough anyway, but there were a lot of strong emotions because of J's difficult relationship with his father (due in no small part to a stepmother who didn't want anything to do with J -- jeez, don't get with a man who has a kid then). Anyway it's not my stuff to process, but I can't help but feel how much J is hurting, and while I know that J needs words of comfort I tend toward the non-verbal because with my body I can comfort better than with words.

Messy thoughts. I gotta go lay down. We might've both caught norovirus somewhere in our travels. :(