Is this thing on?

I haven't been posting because I haven't been feeling much self-acceptance. In general, this means I have a hard time being in the world. I don't feel like that is the full reason for much of the stuff below, but it's part of it. As much as I want to change some of this because it increases my isolation, I can't seem to change it, and letting go of trying to change it just makes me feel more isolated.

• I feel less verbal. It can be very hard to talk. Hair trigger frustration. Incomplete sentences. Can I just go hide and rock now?
• Making eye contact is harder. Doing it means a rush of adrenaline. It's too intense. Mostly I look everywhere but at a person.
• High anxiety making me silly.

Don't get me wrong, I like myself. I'm just having a hard time with the involuntary stuff that makes it difficult to connect with others.